Hi, I’m Dr. Fei. Welcome to my psychoeducation blog, where we explore topics related to mental health and wellbeing. I want to start by acknowledging your courage to embark on this journey of self-discovery and healing. It takes bravery to confront our challenges and seek out support, and I’m grateful to have the opportunity to share some insights and resources with you.
Today, let’s talk about the topic of resilience, and how it can help us overcome fear and anxiety. Whether you’re facing a challenging situation right now or simply looking to build your mental strength, this post is for you.
Resilience
Building resilience is essential in life because life is full of challenges and hardships, and it’s not always easy to get through them. Resilience can help us navigate through life’s challenges with greater ease and overcome obstacles that might otherwise seem insurmountable.
Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back from difficult and challenging experiences in life. It is not about being tough or immune to stress and hardship, but rather being able to cope with adversity and overcome obstacles. It is the capacity to withstand, recover from, and even grow through challenging life situations.
Understanding Anxiety & Fear
When we experience anxiety or fear, we may feel overwhelmed and powerless. We may feel as though we have no control over our thoughts or emotions. We need to understand how anxiety works in our brain.
Many anxiety disorders are based on fear, and avoidance can be one of the biggest factors in making fear and anxiety grow. When people feel threatened by an anxiety response and avoid the thing they are afraid of, their brain marks the solution as “run, avoid, get the hell out of there.” This is called the “fight-or-flight” response. Unfortunately, this response is not actually a solution, and it can cause anxiety and fear to increase over time.
The brain is always working for our survival, and it learns from our experiences. If we default to fear and avoidance, the brain will keep getting louder, and anxiety and fear responses will increase. However, if we start to teach our brain something different, it will start to do something different, and we can change our response to anxiety.
How to heal from anxiety and fear? Well, we have to get corrective experiences that teach our brain not to be afraid. It is crucial to work on anxiety with a mental health professional in a supportive environment, so the brain gets a healthy opportunity to correct the fear response. With time and effort, we can teach our brain to respond differently to anxiety and fear and learn healthier coping mechanisms to manage anxiety in our daily lives.
So, building resilience can help us feel more empowered and confident in our ability to handle stress and difficult situations.
How Did Other People Handle It?
As a therapist, I am often amazed by the resilience and inner strength that my clients possess. Even when they come to me feeling overwhelmed and stuck in the midst of life struggles, there is often a well of strength within them that they haven’t yet tapped into. It’s my job to help them identify and build on that resilience.
One way I do this is by asking clients to reflect on times in their past when they’ve overcome challenges or faced difficult situations. This can be a powerful exercise because it reminds them of their own capabilities and strengths. For example, I recently worked with a client who was struggling with anxiety and depression after a traumatic event. She felt helpless and overwhelmed, and didn’t believe that she had the strength to overcome her difficulties. Through our sessions, I asked her to reflect on times in her life when she had overcome adversity, such as when she had successfully navigated a difficult family situation or when she had overcome a health challenge. By focusing on these experiences, she was able to see that she was capable of overcoming her current struggles as well.
The human capacity for burden is like bamboo,
far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance.
Another way I help clients locate their resilience is by focusing on their values and priorities. By identifying what is most important to them in life, they can find the motivation and strength to persevere through difficult times. For example, I worked with a client who was struggling with anxiety related to her career. She had been passed over for a promotion and was feeling discouraged and unsure of her abilities. Through our sessions, we focused on her values and priorities, which included providing for her family and being a role model for her children. By keeping these values in mind, she was able to find the motivation to keep working hard and eventually landed a new job that better aligned with her values and goals.
Tips for Building Your Resilience
Are there other ways to build resilience? Yes! Let me illustrate by sharing some other examples.
First off, building resilience about is learning how to face our fears head-on. When we face our fears, we become stronger and more resilient, and we are better equipped to handle future challenges.
I have had several clients who struggled with fear and anxiety, which held them back in their personal and professional lives. One of my clients was an aspiring writer who had a fear of rejection. She was so afraid of being rejected that she never submitted her work to publishers or literary agents. She believed that if she didn’t try, she couldn’t fail, but this fear of rejection kept her from pursuing her dreams. Through therapy, she learned how to manage her fear and how to take calculated risks. She submitted her work and eventually landed a very impressive publishing deal.
Another client of mine struggled with anxiety that was triggered by social situations. She avoided social events and parties, which made her feel even more isolated and alone. Through therapy, she learned how to manage her anxiety such as distress tolerance and mindfulness skills. She gradually started attending social events, and eventually, she was able to form new friendships and social connections.
Secondly, building resilience is about managing our minds and emotions in corrective and healthy ways. We all have negative thoughts and emotions at times, but it’s how we handle them that makes all the difference. One of my clients had a tendency to ruminate on negative thoughts and emotions, which left her feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Through therapy, she learned how to manage her thoughts with confidence, through practicing mindfulness and gratitude journal. She also learned how to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and empowering ones.
Last but not least, building resilience also means taking care of our mental health and really invest time to improve it. We have to acknowledge our emotions and deal with them in healthy ways rather than avoiding them or stuffing them down. One of my clients had a difficult childhood that left her with unresolved emotional trauma. She avoided dealing with it for many years, but eventually, it caught up with her, and she had a nervous breakdown. She eventually decided to seek professional support in therapy and started working on healing those past wounds.
*Disclaimer: The clients mentioned in this post are fictional and created solely for educational purposes. While their experiences may be relatable to some readers, they are not meant to represent any specific individuals or situations. The information provided in this post is intended to be educational and not a substitute for professional advice or treatment.
If you find yourself struggle with chronic anxiety or fear, and it impacts your life negatively, you need professional help in a supportive and safe environment to teach our brain healthier coping mechanisms. Please feel free to contact Dr. Fei at drfeiyi@silkroadpsychology.com for more information about individual therapy.